Wednesday, April 19, 2006


Whilst things seem to get better by the day in terms of the future, they also look far from rosy, in fact possitively rough. Not that some of it my own making, I can't say that I'm an angel and that things that happen are not of a direct consequence to my own actions, but it's clear that far more negative incidents happen to me than most.

Maybe it's me being paranoid and looking for the worse in every situation, but even when I'm in a good mood, and feeling really happy with one's self, something comes up and kicks me in the mid drift. It's just one of those natural things for me, and whilst some might take it as a shock, not to me it isn't.

So what has happened today? Well nothing yet, but I'm sure as hell I'm going to get into work perhaps or something at my mum's will kick me. Even if today has been a bit brighter to start off with than previous days this week. I'm not convinced that things will remain as they are. It's a bit like the weather right now. I can see bright sunshine, but looming large is a huge rain cloud ready to disperse it's contents, and I'm due to go out in a minute or two too my mum's. Worse still, I've got a child later on, and the intention was perhaps to go to a park, but this rain will put paid to that idea I'm sure. He'll then complain to me, that it always rains if we go to a certain place, which he did last week. That's where he wants to go, but he associates that with rain and me. What can I do? I can't take him out in the rain, so it's indoors and I'm limited in where I can take him with regards that as such.

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