Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Easter's Over

As quickly as it began the Easter Holiday is over, and now the television advertiser's are left in a quandry. Since January, we've had adverts pertaining to Easter, little hints, like Cadbury's cream egg's sponsering Coronation St. Adverts for the aforementioned treats, in the high st. Now though, it's all change, it's the time of year when we have no holidays to look forward too, no celebration till around October/November and by then, we'll be onto Christmas again. So those with tv's can sit down and enjoy adverts aimed at nothing, but selling goods, and not around holiday times.

Easter being over also means for a lot of us a return to work. I'm getting used to the idea of not having school holidays off, but every now and again I wish I did. I know that Friday will be fun as I have no intention of going into work unless I have too. I know for a fact that Amelia is going to be at mum's so I can spend some time with her her again. We've had lots of fun with the time we've had together this holiday and to be honest, we've not had many fallings out of late. We enjoy the time we have with each other as it's few and far between.

Talking of my little neice, Loxy has written an new post about making a mess of something, which sounds a little crazy I know (btw - that's the colour I'd really want to do my hair with!), but I gotta say that yesterday, I'd ran my aunt home from mum's gone back, and my neice was there. She'd got my mum to make her a small 6" pizza for her tea and that was that. I know I had put a couple of pizza's in mum's freezer so I took one out and baked it for my own tea. When ready, I took it out the oven, sliced it, washed the utensils that I had used, took the plate into the living room, took off my Oiler shirt (didn't want pizza down that) and then sat down. This must have taken at least 3 or 4 minutes. So I thought it was safe to bite, but it wasn't I'm now the owner of a burnt lip, with a blister on which looks as if I've sliced my lip open. All my neice could do was laugh at me, and then went and got herself a plate and promptly ate half my pizza.

Here I am now though alone again, happy to be alone, and this is where I know things are getting stranger, I didn't even go to the pub to watch the soccer yesterday, I just couldn't be bothered to put myself through that experience. I didn't want to be around anyone, when I really enjoy going into the pub to watch United play. I'm ultra convinced that something isn't right with me now. Mind you, I have been in ultra shy mode of late, which makes it more difficult for myself to do anything really. I should force myself, but that will only really lead me to more problems.

Enough of that now, it's becoming repetative. I could go on and on with that, but I'm not going too. I am feeling sorry for myself, and want the world to know it, but deep in the middle of all of this, as I woke up this morning, I knew that there was something, someone more important to think about. My cousin who's not got long to live, as the cancer she has is terminal, I really would like to make peace with her, but I have no way of contacting her, other than snail mail, and even then I don't know if it would be read or get too her. I am going to miss her, more than most think, she is and was the only person in my family ever to listen to me, and talk to me, all be it as a 6 or 7 year old kid. She was the person that perhaps got me writing other than at school. I love her lots, I'd swap the cancer in her body to mine if I could, I'd happily sacrafice myself for her, but it can't happen. I know when she dies, I'll be told that I'll have cried crocodile tears, but they won't be such, they will be genuine.

My life with my family may be messed up, but nothing they say will hurt me more than by saying I don't care, I do care, I care very much, but no one really cares about me as much I do them. I'm truely amongst friends, but all alone.


Loxy said...

My hair is so friggin' purple.

Leia said...

So I've seen, but hey that's enough to make me friggin' jealous, I'd love to have purple hair.... I got the inspiration from Leela from Futurama, now that is purple!