Well this is the 200th post as the title suggests, and little did I expect to be here right now, but here I am and here I write again. It's been a journey of many descriptions and for those who have read almost from day 1, it's certainly been hard going.
So the Oilers lost last night for me, but it's no big concern, as I had them to do it in 6 and 6 it will be. I'm just hoping that they can pull it off. Not only for the club, but also the fans and even more so those in and around Edmonton and Vancouver.
Things seem to be slowing right down as of late for myself. I'm not sure if it's not the AD's or it's just me sorting myself out naturally. I was clearing my head out on Monday when I went to see my doctor, but I think it could be a combination of things to be truthful. Which ever it is, I'm more at ease, and perhaps ready to face the world again soon. I have to be careful though, as it's little things that will set me back, those little things that irk me, but wouldn't irk the person who says or does what ever.
This time around I've built the walls even higher and stronger than ever before. It's going to take an monumental effort for someone to break through all my barriers to me right now. Even the special friends will find walls up in front of me, walls they've never encountered. It won't be easy for them, but they will have to climb them to get too me. I can't let them through anymore with the ease to which they did. I'm sure it will be a help to me, but I'm unsure of what they'll think. Whoops there I go again, why should I care about what they think? Why should I care about what you think of this blog? I mean this is for my use, it's my thoughts and I write this to help me. If it entertains or provokes thought within the reader then all well and good, but this is more to let me sound off.
My mind is as complex as anyone else's, but I've been quite open with that in the past, and perhaps it's been my downfall. I may need to retain that bit of secretcy, but I do for the most of you on here, in fact all of you I guess. So what am I talking about? Well, I guess what I'm saying is that in the past I've been quite eager to open my thoughts to the world and then some more to the selected few. Right now, I need to be selective as to what I put out full stop. It's nothing against those in the past, it's just that I now accept that this hasn't helped me, nor them. I just need to back away from things and re-establish what the special friendships are all about and if indeed they are still friendships at all.