Saturday, September 22, 2007

3's or 10's

Things come in batches of 3's they say, well how come for me it's around 10's or higher? I really am cursed, and it's bloody annoying to know that right now I'm in the middle of making everyone unhappy, having everything I do fall apart. I can't explain it, but one thing is for sure, if it were all to end in the next 10 minutes, I couldn't care less.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Time to be depressed

It's close to being the start of the year again.... The kids are back in school after the summer break, the temperature has fallen a few degrees or many depending on where you are in the world, the soccer season is in full swing. The hockey season is just around the corner and of course I'm going to be a year older.

I'm sure those that have seen this blog develop know that I'm not one to have fun with regards my birthday, it's always seems to be a rather horrid time of the year for me, and one I wish to forget. I've a distinct feeling that this year will be the exact same. It's not a time that I enjoy and even though I'll be off work again, it's probably going to be one poor birthday. I was hoping for so much more as well, but this past few week has really sunk me to a level that I didn't think I'd see this year. I'm going to have to sit down and look at myself again soon and try and fnd a positives about myself again and soon.

I've a conference coming up with work, and if I'm in a mood like this I'll end up having a really awful time and a time I wish to forget. I don't want that, but it's a something to contemplate. I've got a wedding to attend tomorrow, and if I don't buck myself up for that, I'll end up faking an excuse and not going. It's a trick I've done before, but it's something I've not done for ages. I'll have to see how I really feel, I wouldn't want to spoil it for the bride and groom or others either, by being very depressed at such a happy occasion.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Good Times

Here we go again, another post from the crazy fingers. I'm in a good mood in general right now. I know that some parts of my mind set is going crazy with my own inner problems, but on the whole is good.

I've been down to London in the past week to see two concerts by James, and to be honest they refreshed me as much as they did in April. It was seeing them earlier this year that set about the turn around in my general mood. This time, just as my mood was waning, James picked me up and restored the good mood. Maybe it wasn't just the music, but the people with whom I chatted with prior to the show and the music combined.

I'm back in work this week, and then off again next week. It's going to be a very long week I'm sure, but one that I'm going to enjoy. I'll be off to Leeds on Thursday to see Lauren, but also for a meeting on Friday. I am looking forward to that, to create a diversion from the normality of the week. I'll also be looking for a new car, which is exciting.

Saturday, September 08, 2007


The start of a week's long break from work starts here.... Well it started last night, but so what I'm happy to be away from that place, all the back stabbing and politics. I know that I'm as bad as everyone else, and those who read this journal, will understand that, I call work left, right and centre in here. Mind you I always have done, it's been my place to rant and rave over the past year or two, and not just with my current job either. Still if I didn't have something to moan about I'd be a little scared.

So it's off to London on Monday morning to see two James concerts in the capital, two unique concerts where I'll be treated to new songs and probably different sets each night. That's exciting and it's also quite a bit nerve racking in that it may be a shambles, it may be the best ever, we just don't know what to expect.

I have spoken to mum over the past couple of days and tomorrow I'll be going around to my sisters for tea. I'm a bit surprised that they have invited me, but then again I envisage that my mum, might and I say just might have had something to do with it. Though it will be nice to get more than 5 minutes with AJ tomorrow, thought it will only be 5 mins as she'll probably be watching High School Musical 2. Yes it's very much still the IN thing by all accounts. Yay to be a kid today with so much tv to choose from, it's nothing like when I were a child, 3 channels and nothing for the kids till lunch time and then 3.45 till 6pm that was it, oh and of course Saturday mornings. It's not the same any more, the quality is out there, but it's so dispersed that it's rare to find a quite good kids show these days.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Now I've spoken often about the lack of confidence in myself that I have, and yet here I am about to set on the process of doing something quite different to my normal self. I may be forced into doing a presentation in front of 50 to 60 people within my work environment, and though the thought of it scares the living daylights out of me, I'm actually a little excited about this. It's all part of the process of merging both the shy person I am normally with the extrovert that is my work persona. To be even contemplating this sort of behavior is quite extreme for myself, but hey if this is how things have to be then so be it. The more I push myself the more I'll be able to make break through the barriers.

It isn't clear cut that I'll be given the chance to do this, but for one I'll be more than willing to give it a try if I have too, though how well I'll do is another point. I'm sure that once I get going on something of this nature I'll make such a impact on myself that the next conference I'd be in a position to make a point if needs must or I feel the need too. It's really that big of an issue.

I'm unsure or should that be unclear as to where I want to go with this, either do it or not, but it's certainly an exciting thought.

Saturday, September 01, 2007


Here we are at the end of August 2007, I mention the year as it could well turn out to be a significant month in my life. It has for sure been a busy month and one of lots of changes, but may prove to be further than that in the not so distant future.

For one it may well prove to be the last summer that I will be involved in activities/playschemes. This will be decided in the next few weeks. I can say that this year has by and far been the worst in 20 years, not in terms of activities or for the kids enjoying themselves. No in terms of children turning up to the activities as such. I've never known it to be as bad as it was this year. I can't pinpoint the reason for this, though I guess that between my colleagues and I we could come up with many answers. I can't say that any of us have the answer for the perfect scheme, we are all poles apart on that but this year just didn't have the sparkle of previous years.

Another major event was my mum moving out of the family home yesterday, it's a traumatic event, and one that is still very raw. My mum has called today to try and set up a meeting tomorrow with my niece and her. I think she understands that I'll probably won't be seeing her for ages as she'll be stopping at my sisters house where I'm not exactly the most welcome guest. Do I really care? No, it's just typical however of them (my sister and husband) to be honest, and what's heartening is that my niece actually agrees with me over them. I've a spy in the camp and one which will bode me well in the future. My big worry however is that I won't see my niece half as much as I did do previously and I only saw her a quarter of what I would like. So it's going to be very hard over the next few weeks to deal with not seeing her. I've told her to text or call me if she wants to speak to me, and I may even pass on the only usable email address for her. That way I might find myself in more contact...

So today is being spent at my place quite lost to be honest. I've got nothing to do and I need to get my PC fixed, but that won't take place till Monday at the very least, which I'm a little peeved about, but I can still use the PC it's just the cd/dvd that I can't use. So I can still write from home and do most things that I would have been doing however I was going to spend this weekend getting to grips with the dvd writer and taking lots of stuff and backing it up onto discs. It's going to have to wait a week or two, but it will be done.