Thursday, April 13, 2006


Why as a race of animals do we presume what others are thinking or what the actions show us? We all do it and anyone who says other wise is a liar. I'm not 100% sure if it's not a learnt mechanism either. I mean from an early age we presume that we are doing the right thing till told other wise.

So why am I asking this?? Well I get in trouble for making presumtions about others, and yet others continue to make presumtions about myself and think they are correct. I can't see how the same people who tell me I'm wrong to make presumtions about others, can then do exactly what they preach to me not to do. I feel a little let down by this, but what can I do when the person who has done this is above me. I've got my appraisal this afternoon, and I'm sure that I'm going to take one hell of a beating during this, but I'm prepared for it you know. I've been preparing for this for a few weeks now. I expect the worse, I really do. Mind you, I can get through this, I feel that I can make a point of things and also support my arguements that I put out. Someone might feel that I'm going a little too far into my own self to find things that aren't there, but if I'm appraising myself then I've got to be honest.

I'm sure that tomorrow's post or possibly tonight's entry will contain a blow for blow account, but it may be a different tone from this, one not of frustration, but one of contenplation with what I have to do. I know where my faults are, I know what I have to do, and I'm trying to address those problems, but just as you reach the goals, they go and move them and thus leaves more problems. Work is something you should enjoy, right now this is a JOB, and not something I'm 100% enjoying. I'm hurt to have to say that, to admit such a thing is awful. This is the only thing I'm good at, and yet I'm not enjoying it. I've been in this area of work now for 20 years and I'm not enjoying it for the first time in that time span. Something must be wrong.

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