Melancholy

Arrgghh, just when you think it's safe to enter the world once more it comes up, it's bites your leg, it's arm and god knows what ever else. I thought I was improving, I thought things were settling down, but how wrong was I?

Don't panic, things aren't as bad as they seem, however, coming down to the library, I had time to contemplate things and things weren't that great, and so with some melancholy, I entered the library and things just continue to hit me. I reserved a book yesterday, I checked to see if it had arrived the system is saying it's awaiting collection, but it can't be found in the library, it's a mystery. OK, it's not earth shattering, but it's an omen, things are going to continue to go wrong for me.

I am a very unlucky person, I have always been so, but at times I curse the bad luck I have it's unreal the amount of times that I've ended up feeling let down. I built my hopes up for a couple of jobs I applied for, I really wanted either of them, it would have been a complete departure from what I have done previously, but I was prepared for that, and fancied them. I have till Friday to hear if I've even got an interview, but as each day passes I fear the worse and whilst I know that I've probably been over looked, due to many factors, and being sensible about it, I shouldn't have built my hopes up, but I can't help the feeling of desperation and disapointment that I will do when I don't hear anything back by Friday.

Perhaps I've smashed too many mirrors over the years, but I can't recall smashing one, let alone enough to have lasted me this far into my life. This isn't good, the further I am writing today, the more depressive I'm becoming and I don't want that, I want to remain fairly positive. Oh well so let's cut this one short hey??