I guess that I should show some positives here, after all I've been quite negative in other area's of late. I am contented, though a week or two ago I'd have used the term happy, but that's no longer the case. It takes some doing for me to be happy, and I was for some time.
Contentment doesn't include having a fly buzzing around you whilst typing, which is the case right now. If that thing don't leave my room in the next few minutes, it's life span shall become considerably shorter than it expected. I can't stand things buzzing around me like that. I can just about accept bee's, not wasps however. So as it has not left, it has a death penalty on it's head to which at the end of this entry will be carried out if it is still here.
Contentment is being OK with everything going on. I know that some things aren't not happy and others are very happy, but they are equaling each other out and that means I'm fine with things. I have a smile on my face for the majority of the time and it's a smile that's not being forced, it's a smile out of genuine pleasure. For the regular readers this may be something of a shock, but yes, I am smiling about life.
I'm at peace with myself for the time being and it's sitting well with me. I've no regrets, no concerns and any concerns that I do have or others try imposing upon me I don't give a brass monkey's about. I've got no reason to allow anyone to dictate to me anymore, I'm a human after all and I'm my own boss. I may get paranoid if I'm depressed, but that's something I guess that I've just got to accept and that others have to accept as being a part of me. It's something that people who know me, should accept and try and figure the best way to bring me back to where I am today. Well that would be easy really it's a matter of bringing me back to my flat and I'd be back. I meant more to a mental state as to where I am. Oh the joys of my thinking.
Sometimes a good friend is better than a lover!