So here I am again, on another fine morning, trying to put the past couple of days down into words. At times I find it incredibly easy to tell, and on others quite the opposite. On good days when not a lot happens, the next time I sit to write is always difficult. I'll take yesterday as an example.
I was working yesterday, and though I've not been enjoying the weekends as much as I used too, it was nice to have a problem free day, the clients behave and also a chance to see a colleague whom I've not seen due to sickness for a while. Not a lot of interesting details came from that, I could pad out this entry with the fine details, but it wouldn't be a great read, but it would fill the space.
Should I there fore go and explore my mindset right now or ignore that and go at random angles to writing the complete unknown story that's in my head?
If I didn't want to put something down, I wouldn't have started this entry would I? Life's a strange thing you know, with the complex moods it throws at you and also the interaction of others upon those moods. However, at the extreme end of it all, it's our life's experiences that dictate how we respond to everything. I mention this as after a long spell of a good mood, I'm regaining some of myself back. It's something that I want to reclaim. I'm not sure why, or when it left me, but the ability to be crazy, the ability to be crazy/stupid and funny at the same time is back and I'm loving it. Yesterday could provide an example, with me not giving a flying monkey's what others felt in the cinema, but dancing in the isle to the Pearl and Dean theme tune wasn't what most would say is sane behaviour, but the clients enjoyed the spectacle, and that's the only thing I care about. I couldn't care less what the other patrons thought, and that's been missing over the past year or so.
That indicates I'm at a good place with me, though I know that I'm not there yet. I've work to do on me, and that would put me in a place which I don't think I've ever been in. That position is obtainable, I can see it now. For too long it's been clouded away, around the corner or the other end of the tunnel, but for once in my life I can see that I can be happy. Wow, it's freakish to think of things like that, but let the world know that should I get to this position, you'll all know about it. I wouldn't care less what the world felt of me, and I'd float around in a positive mind set for ever and a day. Well OK, perhaps not forever, but for a day or two at least.