Sunday, July 30, 2006

Tangents

I seem to write about nothing a lot of the time, or at least start with nothing and the go off at a tanget that either I want to or randomly. Today is one of those random days, but if things get familiar then I'm sorry I've no idea where I'm going or what I want or going to write about.

The heat wave that has engulfed the UK has abated for a day or two right now, which is good as playscheme's start on Tuesday and to have them in the intense heat we had would have been murder, not only for the kids, volunteers but me as well. I love the heat, but not when I'm running around at my most stressed, though I'd be enjoying myself deep down. So the cooler weather means more running around and the crazy antics that come into play at this time of year will not be effected.

I think playscheme's bring the best and worse out of me and whilst that may be constrewed as a bad thing by some and good by others, I don't see it as either. At the end of the day I'm there for the kids, and if once during each day I can see a smile on there faces then I'm happy and I think I'm doing my job well. It's very hard to organise a playscheme for children, well for a group of children anyway. It's easy enough if they are your own children, or just one child, but when you have a selection from various parts of the city and the only connection they may well have with each other is that they have support from the organisation which I work for it's very difficult. I mean out of the the 32 children I'll be working with over the 3 days of the week, only 4 or 5 girls out of that group. So I've got to decide on things that they'll like, whilst not making the scheme very much a boys club. I'm not complaining, it's the norm in many ways.

It seems to be something also that the closer I get to playscheme's that I'm starting to relax a bit, which means that I'm feeling a bit better. I guess that by the end of it all I'll be more than stressed, but I think it's a different type of stress and one to which I can thrive on. That reminds me I need to get my holidays booked in, and sort out the week of my birthday. I know that Lisa has asked me to keep the Saturday between our birthdays free, which shouldn't be a problem as I'm not going to be going anywhere. I'm in London on the Friday with work, but will be coming home that night, even though I'll have travelled down on the Thursday. I'm actually looking forward to that. Talking of that week, I think I'm going to treat myself to a present, one of my favourite singers is performing in Manchester the night before my birthday, Cerys Matthews, formerly of Catatonia will be performing at the Uni. So I guess that I might have to purchase a ticket and go and see the excellent Cerys.

See I can enjoy myself and I have plans to keep myself happy, but things never seem to work out quite the way I would like. I'm going to ask around to see if anyone wants to come to the concert with me. It's not as if I can't go to a concert on my own, but it's always better to have someone to go with. It maks the night even better, but hey here's where my plans fall apart perhaps, trying to find another Cerys fan who wishes to go and see her live will probably turn into a futile effort and I'll end up going on my own. Not that I've done that sort of thing before.

I shouldn't be getting myself depressed by writing the above, I should be feeling positive about myself and feeling good with playscheme's around the corner. Though the above isn't depressing in itself, it is rather negative and the more negative things I write the greater the risk of me becoming depressed is. I'm not going to be depressed, it's like a mantra as of the moment, it's difficult not to be with the way my life is, but then when I relax and enjoy myself life is wonderful, it's full of energy etc. the top and bottom of it is that if my life was any other way I'd probably be bored with it. At least the way it is right now, gives me variety and an insight into aspects of life that the majority of people have never experienced and probably won't either for that matter.

Going right off topic here, and onto another, I've just heard the ice cream man in one of the adjoining roads, and am awaiting the chimes to suggest he's in my road. I've not had a ice cream for a while, well I lie about that really, as it was probably about 2 weeks ago. Yet, I've decided that once he arrives I'm not going to have a "99" as normal, I'm going to choose something else. I'm going ask for a nougat wafer. It's one of those things that temps my fancy now and again and today is one of those days. I do like the idea of the ice cream van coming to your doorstep rather than you having to go to the shops. As is the case here the firm that does provide this service for this area has been doing so for well over 50 or 60 years. The recipe is a secret and the ice cream is to die for. It really is. I guess that when ever I go away from Salford on holiday's the ice cream is something that never lives up to that which is at home. Most people in the UK, say that a good cup of tea is something they miss while on holiday, but for me it's ice cream.

Where was I with the train of thought?? I don't know I'm just going off on tangents because I can and want too. The only real intention I had when I began this post was for it to last for a while and be a big read as such. I've not done something like that for a while and thus far this is becoming one of those posts. I don't know if any of you who read this site on any sort of regular basis prefer my longer posts or shorter posts, any sort of comments would be taken. I'm not sure if large blog posts actually get read that much, it's something rather different to the norm I guess. Does a large post go away from the heart of what blogging is about? I'm not sure on that one. A blog is an individual's place, someone's home, someone's own idea of what it should be. For me it's a home to my thoughts, my moods and my very odd tangent style of writing. It can be long or short for all I care. It's a place for me to rid my emotions and for me to perhaps say things that I couldn't or wouldn't say to people's faces.

Oh wow, it's now starting to rain heavily and the fact that the clouds are moving in suggests that perhaps later on tonight we'll see a thunder storm. Not so much lightening, but thunder. I hope so as I do like to watch and listen to thunder. Next door but one has there washing out, which is always a little sad, but hey if they want to let it get wet, then so be it. And the rain has stopped as quickly as it started. I still think we'll have thunder later on, but as of yet, after one blast of the chimes I've yet to hear the ice cream van again, so I think I've missed him..... What I can hear right now is certainly a couple of children playing cricket in a back garden, the easily recognisable shout of Howzat has gone up a couple of time as well as thud of the ball hitting a wheelie bin.

Again a nod to yesterday, I've seen three or four squirals today, and all of them have ran across the fence in next door's back garden. They've obviously ran to go to the tree, but have realised that since they felled it, or cut it back, they have no protection from danger within the tree and must continue to the next tree. I am still in a state of unease at the felling of the tree, but they must have had there reasons I guess.

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