Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Hmmm

The darkness encapulates the room that I'm in, it encapulates the world at times, but the thing I hate the most is it encapulates me. Well right now, the light which was once bright is fading, I know it, I can feel the odd flicker, it isn't a strong beam. The problem is I'm not sure how to respond to that.

I could spend hours on here writing, and writing about how I feel right now. Something has been written too me, somewhere online. Now there aren't many places where things are written to me, so some of the wiser people might realise where it is.

What was said hurt, hurt deeply. It wasn't intended to hurt, it wasn't intended to take the wind out of my sails, but it has. A simple sentence, has hit me so hard that no matter how I read it, no matter how hard I try to make the darkness stop from engulfing me, it's consuming me like a swarm of locus. It's pretty simple really, by this time tomorrow, I'll be feeling very low, almost suicidal possibly. One sentence has thrown me, and this is what it does. Look at how happy I've been of late, I've not had anything bad to say of myself, but now, right now I have. I hate myself for being the way I am, I didn't want things to be like this, I wanted things to be "normal" I didn't want to have things thrown down my throat. I know I need to be strong, but this sort of thing hurts me, and I can not avoid it.

No comments: