This post is going to be orgainic in that I don't know where it's going or what I'm going to write. All I know is that I want to write something and something is what I'll write. Today hasn't been that bad, though the rest that I promised myself didn't really materialise as I ended up helping out a colleague on a group this afternoon, which was fine by me, as I've not done that group for ages and I do like that group.
So what else is going on? How am I? I've not written much about me recently, I guess all the hockey talk has taken over, and also the fact that work has become quite bad in terms of morale that I've failed to step back from myself and look at how I am. I know that with the way that work is going I've considered going to the doctors a couple of times of late to ask for a sick note due to stress. I could and will go if I have to, but right now I'm fighting it. It isn't doing my health any good, and it's keeping me on Anti-depressants for possibly the longest time in years, but I'm at least keeping my head above water.....
With the above though I've got to maintain my sanity amongst all the stress, if that goes I'm in trouble. For me both are intertwined and if that falls then I'm no good to anyone. I've got a fine line by which I live and right now I'm closer to the edge than I have been for years. I hope that the few events I've got coming up, which will ensure that I go out on a semi regular basis between now and playscheme's will help me. At least I'll see new and old faces and gain from the experiences and build.
I want to reclaim some money back that I've had taken, and will endeavour to do so over the next month or two. I certainly hope that I can claim it back, as I know it will add up to a significant amount of money and one which I could easily sort my life out with for the time being and consider treating myself again with. It's getting to the point in the year where I need to treat myself again. I've failed to treat myself for a while and I'm in need of something to at least put a smile back on my face. I'm not smiling half as much as I would like to be right now. Life isn't always fun, but even when I do enjoy myself I'm not smiling, that hurts me so much.