Tuesday, July 10, 2007

School of Frustration

For a long time or what seems to be a long time things have gone well for me. I've been able to declare myself as being happy, but the events of this week, a young week at that are having a distinct effect on me.

Sunday I got accused of something I am not, by a person showing some serious signs of being very phobic towards certain type of people. Then I get into work and though that isn't too bad, it's not a very nice place to be right now. Today I went to collect some children from the school I used to work at and quite frankly got dumped on by the staff there. This isn't the first time they've done this, they are constantly having digs at me, but this time was the worse and I felt like crap really. No I shall retract some of what I just said. They don't dump on me, they are bullying me, and I'll use them words as they are very powerful words and today it's got to me.

Why though? I've been in such a good place of late, so why did I let that effect me? Well I think it's partly down to external things just breaking some of the branches in my tree, but that today was the wake up call I needed from that school. Tomorrow I intend to speak with my line manager and will use the same words that I have used here, and see where it takes me. I don't care what is said to others, but it's got to the point where I no longer care what some people at that place say. Why should I continue to take it? I left that place partly due to that sort of thing, and yet I get treated like something they've stepped in. It's not on, and has to stop.

I can't say anything positive today, it's all too much for me, what happened at the school has just wound me up so much that I can't relax and that's bad news. I need to relax, but yet nothing I do seems to help. I tried the good old bubble bath technique before, but to no avail. I'm not going to turn to drink, that's not good for me. Not when I've got some tablets to take. It's just so fecking frustrating........

No comments: