Wednesday, December 01, 2004

White Rabbit

I was going to post yesterday, but my internet connection went down for the 2nd day running at around the same time. So I write this in a little fear in case it goes down while I'm writing and that I have to rekindle later my thoughts, which as they happen to be few won't be a problem. The thing though of course is what direction I go if I have to stop shortly. As you may well know by now, my writing never remains true to the direction I started off in.

So the weekend came and went, and I did very little. On Saturday just gone I went around early to my mum's, with the intention of going to watch United play at a local pub in the afternoon. That didn't happen as the day went on, I felt worse and worse as I could feel the start of a heavy cold hitting me. I made sure that I had lots to drink, and made sure it was a good drink. Either a powdered paracetamol drink or just hot water with plenty of honey in it. It didn't stop the cold from hitting home over night, and to be honest Sunday morning wasn't something I was looking forward to. I hardly slept over night with my nose being so blocked I kept waking up, and having to clear the sinuses.

Sunday came, and one tired me dragged herself off to Barnardo's as I was driving for the Sunday activity group. It wasn't too bad, all the children lived near each other, I knew the run and could do it in no time at all. Plus we were going to see "The Incredibles", which I really enjoyed. Taking away the Disney schmultz, it was a very well made film. Once over it was time to return the children to where they once came, go grab some lunch and go for another set of children for the afternoon group. We took that group to the European Market in Manchester city centre. It was really nice to take them, and for them to experience the sights and smells of this thing. With all the cooking of hotdogs and the various crepe' stalls. With the never ending aroma of mulled wine, all it needed was a layer of snow to make it feel like Christmas in Novemeber.

By the time I got home though I was dead on my feel and just wanted to drop. I had to get some tea together for myself and so I had to think quickly and effectivily. Once I'd eaten I was ready for my bed, but my body just wouldn't shut down like that and so reluctantly I made myself stay up, till I was falling asleep before going to bed. Again another night of constantly waking up, but as it was Monday I went into school. More so as I've got a secondary job for Barnardo's which is related to school, and that takes place on Monday afternoon's every so often. I should have been working, but the child who I work with was off ill, and thus meaning that I had nothing to do after school. I did my best and had already had permission to leave work after lunch, I was in a bad state. It was then I was given another job, which I felt wouldn't take long, but took the rest of the day. I wasn't happy!!! So by yesterday morning I just couldn't do it, and had to phone in sick. I spent the day at home, with hot water bottle and quilt keeping me warm all day.

Now we enter December, I can mention Christmas and start looking forward to it, I can stop complaining about the amount of houses which have had decorations up before December 1st, as this is now officially the Christmas month. As today is the first of the month let me shout out! WHITE RABBIT, I don't know why we do that, but it's supposed to be good luck. I hope so. I do feel better than I did, but am I well enough for work? I'd possibly make it through the day, but I'm tired, and my energy reserves aren't what they use to be. I need to recharge the batteries. That's a sign of old age I think, which scares me as I'm not that old to be old. Though I'm no longer the youngest member of staff at work, and I'm seen as the wise old sage at Barnardo's to some volunteers, it doesn't help one's self image in that respect. I'm only just bordering on middle age in many respects, though a couple of hundred years ago I'd be considered old for the "class" I'm in.

Whilst typing this blog I'm aware that for the first month I kept altering the colours of the text on each post, I'm not sure if some of them worked too well on the background I had, and has it wasn't a long month as I only started this thing half way through the month I had no trouble in not repeating a colour. I've been thinking, whilst typing what to do this month, and I'm not sure. I've many options open to me, but I do like the idea of different coloured text as a easy sign to show that a "new" blog is posted. I may decide to stick with colour codes for days, I don't know yet. This is why I'm throwing this into the pot here, if any of you have any further idea's as to which colours work the best, or if the idea that on Wednesday's is should be say green, and Thursday's red then tell me. I'm open to suggestions, I may be in control here, but my mind is in overdrive and can easily befuddle itself.

Now that is out of the way I can carry on with the show, and I'm unsure of what the show was in the first place. I know I mentioned my class, I meant my social class and not the class that I would like to be in at school, but that is another arguement, and one which hurts. I've been there before here, and it will be here again with no doubt. Though I feel that the social classes are much closer together than at any point in history, and that the monies in each class has increased I do think that it still exists. People may not think it does, but for me it does and to a point always will. I don't know the "class system", I'm not a lover of it, but as a way of making social distinctions for others it works and is definable even today. It's better than it was two or three hundred years ago, and I'm happy that we have moved on.

Something noticable has just struck me, after having a small mental block on what I was going to write after the last paragraph. I should have ended the blog then, but while I was wanting to write further, I couldn't think of anything else to write. I started to think that I'd exhausted everything, but I knew I hadn't and felt I would be cheating who ever was reading this page. I know I could have come back and entered something else for today, which might well happen, but right now I know I have something else to say. I still can't think what it is, and that's bothering me. I started this paragraph with saying something struck me and it has. Whilst in the middle of the mental block I realised that I hadn't put any music on so far today, which is a bit unusual for myself, and then it hit me. Whilst writing and listening to music, I normally don't think as much when I'm writing and go off at greater tangents than I have done today. I'm not sure if that is pure inspiration or it's the freedom of my mind as the music takes up another part of my brain. It's odd, it's unreal, but it's something else to perhaps keep a watch on.

So I'll leave this post here, and as I mentioned WHITE RABBIT before, the text will be white today, as that's part of the title.


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