4 small walls are turning into large walls.

At some point next week, I'll be heading to the doctors to have a chat and some tests done, I'm due my next set of bloods soon, so I'll discuss one or two things then with them.  Hopefully things will go Ok, and I can move on.

Though perhaps I'm feeling better as it is.  I think I pinpointed the problem possibly last night, possibly earlier this morning, I can't quite remember.  No I wasn't drunk, and couldn't remember the past 24 hours, but right now I'm trying to work out when I had a little thought and it all clicked.  I guess half of the stuff I was feeling towards the end of last week and the start of this week was due to what could be described as cabin fever, though I do know the loneliness that I talked of was real, I think the cabin fever adds to that feeling.

I say that from as of Friday 23rd Dec, through till Wednesday of this week, the only people I'd seen were those in shops and only one of them I actually know.  So over a week and a half I spoke to no one or saw no one apart from online.  I've not seen any of my nieghbours since before the 23rd, so it's been quite a crazy time holed up in this flat which as I've described before is probably smaller than the average prison cell.  

Yes, I've been out to the shops and I've been out for walks, but communicating with others hasn't been the main thing I've been doing so that probably sent all the alarm bells ringing and my moods suffered. Since going out on Wednesday, Thursday and today and chatting to friends and people I know I feel so much better.  With my social life getting back to normal after the festive break, I'm starting to feel a bit better.  I'm not convinced that this is the sole answer to the situation, I'm sure that there are underlying things in this that I have to discover and work on as per usual, but progress has been made and I'm picking myself up as I normally do.  

A special mention of thanks to someone who gave me a smart wake up call, with a comment some where.  That helped to kick me out of the slumber in it's own way.  So thank you for that, you know who you are, I hope you have a good weekend, and we'll have to re-arrange that chat you've been seeking for a while now, if you still want it.