Friday, December 09, 2005

Deep Breath

How to control one's situation, sit down and take a deep breath. Now that has been done and I've gone into work and no comments have been made, I can settle down to working out my head. I was a little scared going in to face the team, but I don't think they realise the demons within me. This isn't them that this was about, this was me. It is always me in this situation, I always see things against me.

So as it happens yesterday was really kewl. I overheard Kirsty mentioning that she really enjoyed her presents, as they were cute, funny and nice, while some of the other presents were to say the least odd. Size doesn't always matter does it....

Now the rest of the team are off to Blackpool this weekend, and I'm left behind doing some work for the project later today and all day tomorrow. I'm happy doing that as it will give me time in the office today on my own and to do a few things that I need to do. I might also get to see Joanne, my line manager today. I tried all afternoon yesterday, but got no where. So this time I shall get to see her. I need to try and arrange something for next week. I also need to pull out of the volunteers meal on Friday as I'm now going out with Liz, who used to work at Barnardo's with me. That should be fun as we've not seen each other for a while and things have certainly changed a bit since then.

I feel a lot calmer today than I have done of late, perhaps and this is just a rough guess here, Wednesday was the blow out needed to rid myself of any demons, stresses and what ever else was on my back. It may have been shown in that respect, instead of me getting down and taking it out on myself. I'd rather have this situation rather than me hurting myself, but let's see hey? Life is never straight forward for anyone, and when it comes to myself it tends to be even more crooked than normal. Of course there is no thing as normal as I keep writing, but it's just a phrase that most people understand.

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