No Drugs

How do you finish something that you enjoy and that no one wants you to finish? That's the problem I have right now. I don't want to end working on the Monday night group, but I don't want to work with the person running this group now. It's not the person who I started to work with back in September, and I know the new person. She means well, but already there is a problem between us. She's already trying to impose on this group, and that's wrong! She's only been to the group once, and this group is for teenage lads, they do laddish things, they will swear and burp, it's in there nature. It's a good job we got rid of those who use to beat each other up, and lock each other out of the building.

Going back to the problem at hand, I really like the group, it's got a great collection of lads in it, and the banter is very strong. I fear that this group will get lost into the hitherto unknown, I fear the group will become very regimented, no freedom. If I stay though it would be going back on my word to quit and that's something I don't want to do, it would have been an idle threat and that's something I don't want it to be. I wish that the powers that be had come to me, and suggested I take the group on, on my own. It would have been a smoother transition.

Anyway, it's something for me to take a step away from myself and look seriously at. It's something I've not done for a long time. So tonight, after having a shower and washing my hair, the candle's will go on. The Doors will be playing and I'll be drifting out of myself and taking a long hard examination of where I'm at. Sounds spooky and odd, but I know what I'm doing and no drugs as well.....

What else? Well not too much is going in life, though saying that after tonight I may have a clearer view of where to go in terms of life and jobs. If i come out with a positive I may be able to apply for the job at Barnardo's, and then again I may not. It's not that simple, but a clearer picture may develop. Ok, I'm going leave this here, as it's a bit more of a diary entry than a catch up or a mood description. I do sound brighter than I was last month, but that doesn't mean that I am any better..