Monday, January 22, 2007

Bah Humbug!

So it's a month or so out of date, and I should have been screaming this, this time last month, but hey it wasn't too bad at that point. Today however it is bad. Not bad in terms that I'm really pissed off or that I want everything to stop. No it's much worse than all of that!!

Today I go back to work after my holidays!

It's OK to suggest that I should be ready for it, but I've been on holidays for about a month now, and I've got use to not going into work. I've enjoyed the time off and by the time I get through the next day or so, I'll be back in the swing of things with regards work, but it's that first step. I can only compare it to the first day back to school after your summer vacations, when you really don't want to be back, but have to do it.

Now the rant is over, back to reality and back to my life. Over the past week or two I've been in a more contemplative mood and an email from Lisa has helped as well. I know I blew things up as I wrote here the other day, but it doesn't stop me from getting wound up and the feeling of insecurity isn't nice. I am now going to work on this with my counselor and see if I can beat this once and for all. All I need are tools that will help me defeat it on a regular basis, as most of the other counselors that I've seen have only given me short term answers. I say most, all but one other. How come I'm back again if someone gave me the answers I hear you ask, well that was prior to me sorting my life out properly. Now that that bit has been done, I've had to learn how to live again and this is why I'm back again. It's not an easy life in many ways, well mine isn't any way. I spent so much of my life fighting to sort myself out, that by the time I had done, I had no idea on how to cope without any problems.

Still let's leave that till it rears it's ugly head again and let's give a huge welcome back to 24, what a series, and one that I wouldn't miss for anything. It's got everything in it, even if they do put lots of similar stuff in it year in, year out. I watched the programme at the US speed last year, but felt awful when watching it with my mum. So this year it's back to the UK time and back to the suspense with my mum. My only question about 24, is how many lives does Jack Bauer have? He's seemingly killed at least once every couple of years of his life. Now anyone would look bloody awful having been in that situation, but no Jack comes back, looking as clean and as healthy as ever..... What's his bloody secret, I'd love to know the trick.

No comments: