Friday, October 14, 2011

Freindship Defined

Some 3 weeks or so ago now I got asked a question, a question that I couldn't answer straight away, not because I was asked not to, but because I couldn't answer it that simply.  I've spent some the time since then trying to find the answer to the question, trying to find an answer that didn't match my first thoughts, my only real answer.  It has taken me time, and many avenues of thought to realise that initial thoughts may be the only answer I can give.  

Whilst not wishing to disclose the question or the person that asked the said question, I'm going to write an entry here, that perhaps may throw some clues as to what the question was, and might help me.  That seems a strange thing to say considering what I'm thinking about, but I guess in a way it can't be helped.

Oh no, a rule has been broken, and I'm going to have to fix it.  Easily done me thinks, I have since I started this blog tried not to start a new paragraph with the same letter as the previous one, nor to use the same word twice as a paragraph opener.  In the second paragraph, I've started with "so", which of course is an S word.  Thankfully, I can remove that without really altering the sentence.  however, it's possibly one of the few times that I've never thought about what I've written.  That's odd, and perhaps another post today or tomorrow to look into that reason.

Friendship, what does it mean?  I could quote the dictionary, but I'm convinced that whilst the dictionary may offer a definitive description of it's meaning, it's cold and basic.  For different people it means different things, some things within a friendship means more for one person than another and vise versa.  What does friendship means to me??  

I think for me, friendship entails lots of aspects, I'm not one for allowing people close to me easily I've always felt that I've had to have defences due to my nature.  So what makes me allow anyone to get close to me?  They have to be kind, caring, humourous, understanding, accepting and honest to begin with. People display these attributes in various ways, and everyone is different, I think that in my many years of my life I've probably allowed 5 or 6 people whom I've met to be called friend.  Of them I'll say only 1 has been constant, and she'll be the constant for my whole life, Why that is I'm not sure, I could blame myself for being a horrible person, but I think that perhaps my own sense of what a friend is makes me seem demanding and a very difficult person to know.  I guess that I hold up all friendships I have with the one I have with my best friend.  

Communication is vital in any friendship and I guess that my idea of what communication between friend is too much.  I sort of expect that communication should be two way, as should a friendship.  One of the things that bothers me within friendships is lack of communication towards myself.  I guess that I enjoy writing, meeting and chatting with those whom I call friends.  I tend to write emails, message via any instant messaging programme, but much prefer talking or meeting.  I accept that many of my friends live many miles away from myself, so phone calls are nice.  However it's very rare that I speak to my friends via the phone.  That's something that I miss, active communication.  No sorry it's not miss, it's something that doesn't happen often enough.  It's instant, it can give an idea of emotion within the person whom we are communicating with. 

This post was supposed to be a definition of friendship, but I don't think I've got it, I've not written it perfectly.  However, I hope I've managed to convey some of the meaning of freindship to myself.  I know it's only brief and conceptual but perhaps it's helping me in trying to define my own answer a bit better when I email my friend with the answer to the question that they have asked me.

No comments: