Contemplation

Whilst the title of this entry may sound huge, it isn't. It's just a random word that sprung to mind while thinking of what to call this peice. I guess the past couple of days have been spent getting everything ready for playscheme's. I think I've got everything done that can be done except for charts and stuff, which I can do next week. I've got to go shopping for stuff, but in many ways I don't have too much to buy as I'll only be buying for the first couple of days and then carry on like that for the rest of the scheme.

I have had some ME time, which was great, and also some shared time with a friend of mind in the pub last night. I've got to get my body into drinking mode once more, and I've got to get my head out of the beer mode. I can no longer really tolerate beer like I used to. Mind you, when I say beer I mean lager, i.e. Molston's for my Canadian friends. To me beer should be what we Brits call Bitter. I can tolerate that much more than lager, but still not in the quanaties I used to. I do however have a high tolerance to the alchopops. I am only saying this as now it's playscheme's I'll be spending so much of my time in the pub afterwards that it's more than quadruple the amount that I would spend during the rest of the year. My body has to get into alcohol mode quickly and quietly.

Life is really strange, just when you get up, it knocks you down again. I'm fearful of getting too high like the other week, yet it was so much fun that I love it when I can be in that position. Why is it like this? A little comtemplation can go a long way I guess. I knew I could bring the title into here some how. To be serious though, why do some of us live on a roller coaster ride, while others seemingly have a smooth ride?? I know that if we didn't have the extreme's we wouldn't know what the "norm" would be and nobody could be happy. I guess it's a conundrum that some of us will eventually figure out, and just at that point we'll die. It's not beyond ourselves to solve this problem, but it's such a huge thing that it will take a while. Tangent thinking while typing that out. "The norm" that I talk about is something that people who help others out seem to have, are they trying to manipulate those of us outside of that norm into there miserable world? Would I be happy with "the norm"? I doubt it, my life would be so much more different, it wouldn't be as exciting and I doubt that I'd ever be able to sit down and contemplate the meaning of everything. I doubt I'd have a firm idea of why we are here, and why some of us sit outside all of that. I doubt I'd be writing this.

With the above in print, I guess I should never complain about my mood and my life ever again? Well in some respects yes, but it's only logical that I have something which I can moan about. Stability is something we all need every now and again. I think it helps balance the body and mind out. It helps to recharge the batteries for the extreme's. I think stability is what we look for when to seek help from shrinks and co. I have got it, I think I've got it. It's just that. The highs and lows of our lives are the norm, the stable borning mondane thing is the battery recharge the thing that keeps us still. Bloody hell, this needs some work, but shit if I can grasp my head around this, I may be so much more relaxed........