It's been a few days since I last posted and whilst a lot calmer I'm still flirting around in my mind. I think that had I not been off work for so long recovering from my hip surgery I'd be tempted to go on the sick right now. Even saying that suggests that regardless I should be doing just that. However, please hear me out. I know I'm capable of working, I know that come start time I'll be in work mode and I'll be doing my job. It's the time I'm not working that my mind is flirting around. Perhaps I need to structure my days better, as I'm struggling to fill them of late and that hasn't been the case all the time during this lock down, I believe that the reason for this is that my mind is whirling around with so many issues.
Still it's not as bad as it was and I'm not as negative as I was over the weekend. I think I did myself a favour on Sunday by sitting down and watching films all day and not really looking at what was going on online. I knew what was going on and how the situation wasn't great, but I couldn't face another day of negativity and needed to give myself some sort of break. It helped, and yes I need to do a bit more of that for my own health, so let's see how I do.
On Thursday, I've got a eye health check, I'm concerned that this may lead to things being discovered about my health, that I don't want to hear. However, lets face the facts it's better to know that not and if I'm not 100% then let's get me better and the sooner the better. Of course the problem that I have is that the last time I wasn't well I ended up on the steroids that led to my hip needing to be replaced. While the recovery from that surgery has been fine, I'd rather not have to get the other one done if I can avoid it, but would be slightly fearful if given the same sort of dosage of steroids if in fact the sarcoidosys has returned.
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