Monday, November 09, 2009


Contemplation, according to the online dictionary has 4 meanings, they are

  1. The act or state of contemplating.

  2. Thoughtful observation or study.

  3. Meditation on spiritual matters, especially as a form of devotion.

  4. Intention or expectation: sought further information in contemplation of a career change.

I guess that I only us the first two, but I started to write with this entry with just contemplation in my mind, this blog was going to be about what I have achieved today, or over the past 24 hours or so. However, I did that this morning, so I decided to go else where for my train of thought, but felt that I wanted to start off with the dictorial definition of contemplation for some odd reason. It's probably not going to relate to the rest of this post, but hey it's there as that's how I was going to start the post.

A common theme for my blogs seems to be ME, it seems perhaps to be my favourite topic, but it's not. I think as I reach this far, that I should re-state that I am not my favourite topic. That's not to say that I don't hold myself in a high regard as such, I do........... well in a fashion I do, but these entries are more for me than anyone else, I find writing cathartic, which I'm certainly not going to print the definition for, that one you can go find yourselves!! Maybe it's saying something about me, maybe it's not, but when writing about what's going on with ME, my mind flies into the sky and I become more judgemental of myself, of my decisions and actions. It helps me see a bigger picture and that's great.

The problem is that at times I've got nothing to write or I just have no need to use this. That's why the posts become sporadic, and every time I burst back into creative life I promise to keep going no matter what, but never do.

So I ask myself why do I write in a public domain and not in a personal journal? Well I did that for a good 2 years once and whilst the file grew and grew, I just found that I was bound to it. It became a huge diary, where famously and I say that as it's certainly was in terms of my own world, I ended up with 18 pages of text the day after my dad died. I let everything go, and yes it was great to do so, but had it been in this sort of domain I would have certainly curtailed it, would have written carefully and been more thoughtful about what I was writing and been able to be slightly more objective. That's certainly an advantage of my writings in public, they are not as acidic, they don't fire at others. When I want to express anger/frustration I can be very nasty, I can be hurtful, some times it's unintentional, but often not. However, here I've got to be careful, names are kept to a minimum, attacks are very weak or veiled, and that's good. Also as most of the people I have attacked here won't be reading this blog I can be comfortable in what I write and that it won't get back to those people.

Anyway time for me to go, I'm going to be poisoned for tea tonight, whoops sorry to my beautiful neice if she ever reads this as she's cooked a meat pie at school that she's said my mum and I can have for our teas. From what I recall I didn't poison anyone from school cooking and by all accounts she's a good cook, but hey if I never post again! You now know why

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