So since the last post I've been in hospital and had some surgery, which has gone well. I'm still a little tender, but that's to be expected, but I'm feeling in very good health and eager to keep going forward. After the last post went up, a bit of introspection has taken place and whilst I'm not going to go on about what I came up with, I guess I needed the slap in the face that led to the post to wake me up and kick me out of the rut I'd got stuck in without really noticing.
For a change that rut wasn't a negative rut it was more just a rut of doing the same things that kept me away from doing stuff that I should do more often and took my eye of the most important things in my life. Not that it's damaged anything ( I hope not, nothing has taken place to suggest that anyway).
So I'm here writing this, full of positivity, yes I said that!!!! I can't quite believe it either, things have been going well, whilst I could do with not having to do some things in my life, I've got a focus on what I need to do, and what I'm enjoying and that's something I've not had for a long time. Probably not since I joined Barnardo's as a staff member have I've been so positive about the future, I know that turned sour and has led to lots of work having to be done with myself, to sort my head out, unravel why it got to where it was, what went wrong and why and how to prevent that. I don't expect I'll ever get the answer to that, I don't know I want to answer it properly. Needless to say, I'm older, wiser and have learned from it. I move forward, my confidence building again slowly.
Time to step away, stop from going further and further into this, there is no need for that right now, and stepping away is good for you, it gives you a break and that's something for a long time I couldn't do or wouldn't do. To many busman's holidays or jumping in to help out when on holidays, have proved that.