Saturday, June 01, 2013

No Agenda

I wrote earlier today how I'm in a flunk and nothing much has changed, but I have come back to write once more.  I am going on a free write moto for this entry as I've not done that for a while, mind you I haven't written much in here for a while either, so why I suggested that I don't know.

Whilst I may be down or in a rut right now, I've got to say the past few weeks since I wrote previously haven't been bad.  I can't recall if I wrote prior to the residential weekend we did with the youth group.  That was a huge success, and you know what, that's it!!!!  MY GOODNESS I think I've cracked it........

This wasn't going to go into my mood, but that one statement has sort of cracked the bubble I guess.  The way I've been feeling these past few days is so much the crash after the high, that I hadn't recognised it.  I've now got the answer that I can now move forward and sort myself out.  This is the power of this blog, I can try and work things out by writing as I did this morning and not get any where, but I can come back to see see how many people have viewed the site and think I'll write again and not publish it to the wider world.  Then in the middle of this said entry I find the answer.

Back to the residential, it went really well and since then up till these past few days, everything has gone to plan, I've managed to save up plenty of money for my trip to Canada, I've got the car booked, the tickets are sorted and my passport is ready.  The only thing that I've not got back of late is the second CRB check which had to be done due to them making a mess of my name.  Anyway that's the only slight downer, but it's on it's way at some point.  I saw James with Lisa and Rachel and enjoyed that way more than the last time I saw them at the Arena.  So life on the whole has been good.  I've been in communication with my niece a lot which is always good for me.  In fact I'm slightly jealous of her today, as she's at the Emirates Stadium, London tonight watching Green Day in concert.  Her and her friend are there for certainly her first proper rock gig, and whilst my sister and brother in law have taken them to London, they haven't gone to gig with them.  It's almost a coming of age moment...

Now I have figured out what the issue, I've suddenly dried up, it's totally crazy.  I should have loads of things to say, perhaps on how I'm going beat the funk, but no.  I'm struggling, but that maybe a good thing as regulars will know I struggle with what to write if things are more positive and with the light bulb moment a few minutes ago taking place I'm already feeling a lot better.  That's the crazy thing about how I felt, I knew I wasn't depressed though had I continued with it, and not spotted it earlier it could have turned into that, but I did indeed see the situation have gone about all the coping mechanisms, which includes coming to here and writing and yet again, I find that writing and trying to solve the problems through this medium works for me.  Well it works in me being able to find the reason why I'm in such a mood the hard work to get myself back to a happy place now begins.  

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