Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Slowly Falling

Good grief what a day today has been...  The electric went off quite early on this morning, well I say early more like 9.30ish, I'd just got into the bath with the water running hot, however it soon turned to cold as did the water in the other shower in the other bathroom in the house which someone else was using.  The cries some what gave away the shock of cold water suddenly flowing through the shower onto him.  I did a quick check and couldn't find any tripped fuses on the main fuse board downstairs, so we contacted the estate agent and they in turn contacted the land lord. 

It took till just after 1pm this afternoon as I was heading out to the library from where I'm typing this post for anyone to come and check the electric's in the house.  It was quickly deduced that indeed it was an external issue rather than a internal, and more so as no other houses in the street or on my side of the road were down either.  So with that in mind and showing the guy around my flat again so that once more he's seen the damp in the property once more coming through the walls, he left and I once more returned to my journey here.  The electric company are aware of the issue and the electric should be back on by 3pm. 

This though adds to the general downward spiral that has been my life of late.  I seem to be getting further and further into despair, though I'm aware of it, I can see it and thus I'm trying all my mechanisms to try and stop it going any further.  Yes, it's a slow fall, much slower than normal, and I have to remember that we are nearing Christmas the time of year I hate the most.  I guess my health has been the biggest issue of late, apart from my problems with my chest, which haven't subsided since November, my knees are sore right now, and that's to be expected due to the down turn in the weather, plus my skin has been rather sensitive which hasn't helped either.  I've not changed anything to cause that, which is a puzzle, but it does have an effect on my moods.  Plus one or two other issues that I can't explain which contributed to the normal things that get me down, doesn't help.  Still things will change just after Christmas, things are going to be a bit more positive and I can at last see some light at the end of the tunnel as they say.  However, I am so aware of the situation and if I continue to fall and that has been happening no matter what, I'll have to start next year on AD's once more.  I've been quite determind not to have to resort to them again recently, but just acknowledging the fact they might be needed is a good thing I guess, I'm more aware of the issues I'm facing and that for once is positive.

Last night I saw my niece for the first time in what seems like ages, though we had little time to chat, but she brought round some "presents and cards".  I am curious about one present alone, the other two presents are blooming obvious, long triangular blocks.  Now my favourite chocolate bars are toblerone, and as I type it wouldn't shock me to see the third present which is a traditional box shape be a flat box of toblerone chocolate either....  Still it's better than nothing I guess.  I may not be able to buy my niece a big present this Christmas, however, I may buy her a ticket for a concert to which I'll be buying myself a ticket shortly, and if she agrees to come then woo hoo.  I'm not going to hold my breath though on her saying yes, or on her being able to come due to all the family politics, but it is worth a shot, and it's worth at least thinking about it.  Being prepared for this not to happen though is a good thing as I'm not that lucky. 

So it's nearing the end of the year, and I have to say after starting off this year doing really well with regular posts, I've dropped off some what towards the end.  I think in many ways it's down to my pc being so slow, I get frustrated with it, for not being able to keep up with my speed of typing and thus what would take me perhaps 10 or 15 minutes here in the library would take a further 15 to 20 minutes at home and that's just wrong full stop.  One of my aims is to get a new computer at some point, but it's not a priority and I've got other things first to spend the little extra monies that will be in my pocket through next year.  I do hope to pop in here once or twice more perhaps before the years end to sum up the year and set the mood for 2013. 

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