It's been almost six months since I posted last and whilst the last post was poor in terms of grammer it did convey the hurt I was feeling back then. In the time between the posts not much has changed, though I've been on a much more even keel than I was expecting. I've worked through issues, I've forced myself back into going to groups in Manchester, as a way of making friends, who'll accept me for being me, rather than accepting me because they have to. I must say that it has helped and I've actually enjoyed going back. It seems odd for me to say that, considering how much I've said no and stopped myself from returning. It took a lot for me to do so, but out of the misery that has been 2010, that has been a positive.
The situaiton with my family is still bad, I've been in contact with my mum, only because she has been quite seriously ill, and whilst I have explained to her the reasons why I've kept myself away, and as I said in the last post she's denied the ignorance. Well I'm going to have it out with her once more, it's not funny anymore and it has to stop, others in the family are trying, at least my mother and sister can try. Though I guess if I did what I wanted to do, it would drive a knife even further between us. Still if no change is forthcoming by February I may well resort to it and see how it's taken.
So on with today I guess, having not been out since midday on Friday, I think I should go out and interact with the world. Apart from a couple of phone calls, which are OK I guess, but isn't true interaction, I need to step outside and face the world. I'm not afraid of that, though at times it's frustrating and energy zapping, however this is a forced choice otherwise I'd be in a pickle. I need to go to the shops for some essentials, and so the first contact with others is needed.