I guess that I have been ignoring my duty to this page, I've hardly posted on here over the past 12 months and whilst I'm not going to close it down, I guess I should at least give it some attention.
Things haven't quite been going to plan of late and whilst I'm not exactly in a happy place, I'm certainly not in the dark recess that I have been in the past. It's not simple with me is it? I've always tried to pop things into dark and light and whilst right now it's dark, it's not as if I can't see the light I'm within touching distance I feel, so the desperation that has been shown in here and on my other blog at times in the past isn't about to be shown again.
So what is new? I don't really know. I guess a question on where I am, in terms of me being me is possibly closer than at any point in my life. I feel at this point in my life that a true label for how I perceive myself is just around the corner and with each new step I'm becoming more and more comfortable with that. It's a really interesting journey and one which every one I guess goes through, but does it normally take this long? I doubt it.
I'm still incredibly lonely, but that loneliness get's broken with discovery of new friends and friends from the past, over on facebook and via myspace. It may not always be a good thing, but then at least I can see where some people are up too and that's important. I found someone the other week, someone very important in my personal make up and that really pulled a few strings. I had no confidence to contact them, it would have been unfair to do so, but it's good to see that she is happy and contented in life and that she's got the best out of it. I know she's done better than I have ever done, but after what happened, it's the least she deserves. If ever we were to cross in real life, I'd say that to her, if I got chance before she hit me.
I'll leave it on that note and if by chance that person bumps into this page, she may and I say just may realise the above is about her.