Friday, September 23, 2005

The Storm has blown! or has it?

Well here I am at the end of the week, and I feel like I've had a storm run through me. I've been down and out, I've cried like I've never cried before and why?? I don't really know. It's crazy it really is.

I know that I've stated and will adhere to the fact that if anything can go wrong for me it will do. Yet, at times I can leave that thought and not let it affect me. On Monday it hurt like never before, and yet on Thursday when I found out that I hadn't been paid the over time that I had been expecting, I just passed it off as another thing. So why had I let it get to me on Monday? I don't know, but I could use the excuse that I'm currently on no medication, which isn't good. I'm not on the anti-depressants or any HRT. I'm deviod of medication.

I guess that I was a little shocked over the news of having to call off my holiday, but I'm still so down over it. I've made steps to try and make amends for this, but I'll keep that one a bit quiet. I've also got the visit to Alton Towers on Monday to look forward too with Lisa. I know that I've upset her this week, but it's an occupational hazzard of being my friend, and more so my best friend. Apart from buying her a card for Tuesday, thanking her for another year of friendship ( I think I am the only person who on there birthday buys or sends cards to those friends who has contributed more than others in the past year, thanking them.), I'll have to buy her a really nice present this year.

I sit here in front of my monitor right now feeling a bit better, the 3/4 bottle of wine I've drank so far has helped, but also the fact that I can pinpoint things a bit better helps. All the problems that I'm going through right now is down to an abortive visit to Leeds for a hospital appointment. I didn't make it due to probelms on the road network. A truck full of toothpaste of all things had shut down the motorway system around Mancester. Now this sounds daft, but till that day, things had gone reasonably well this year for me. In fact it had been the best year for ages for me. Since that day though, things have been falling apart, in terms of what ever could happen to me has. It's something that I am used to normally, but after such a good start to the year it's really has hurt me of late.

Again though I look at what I've written and thought, and to the outsider it looks crazy, to me it's look crazy to blame something that I way out of my control. However it takes something crazy to change ones luck, and though it's been a case of bad luck ever since, I can blame that day as being the down part of the year.

Still I'm alive and that's what matters the most I guess.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hiya Leia,

Keep your chin up kid, it's all sent to try us. Youre a good person Leia dont ever forget that. One day at a time.

all the very best
from your mate
Worcsabre23