A very quick blog this one, I guess it's only being done to make someone happy, as I fear I've upset him. He won't accept that I've upset him, but I know I have. What have I done to upset someone? Well I've been posting here now for nearly 2 or 3 weeks now and haven't mentioned his name once. I'm sure that he'll complain to me that he isn't hurt or upset, but I can tell. He's beening very quiet with me, and using excuses as to why he's being quiet. I've been there before and know the signs.
So PETER in Denmark, or ENGINEER in Denmark, this blog is for you....... Peter, you have proved to be a valuable friend, Thank You.
p.s notice how I even have coloured this post in a mark of respect to you.......
Friday, November 26, 2004
End of one Journey
So here I am at the end of another working week, and I feel ok. I hope that I can say the same tonight, and that nothing goes wrong at work today. I've had enough of that happening to be honest, though with all due respect I can't see anything going wrong, apart from some major disaster.
Well the title suggests some sort of journey's end, and that's how I see what went on yesterday. I've been attending a hospital clinic for over 4 years now, probably more like 5 years, but I'm not counting just yet. Anyway, yesterday saw me traverse the country to the city of Leeds. Not one of my favourite towns as it has a tendancy to dislike Manchester/Salford with the type venom that can cause riots and deaths. Enough of that, as I said for the past few years I've made regular visits to this city and more so to the two main hospitals in it, and yesterday I was discharged from one. Now that is something that I sort of expected and was happy to do, but in a way it's a sad day to say goodbye. For all I've said previously about the city of Leeds, I've now got very little excuse to go and visit it, but yet in terms of shopping and things, I've got a soft spot for it. I guess the hospital visits have perhaps clouded my judgement.
By being discharged the end of one part of my life's journey is now complete, and the next journey is just about to start, I've mentioned in the past week about that journey here, and so you know all about it. I described it as closing the gate on what has gone on and though it's not shut 100% locked, it's not likely to be opened up real soon. The past is the past and though for the main I want to forget the past, I've got to embrace it at times and accpet that it is the past no matter how much I want to forget about it. So having climbed Everest, I'm now at the foothills of K2, such is the journey of my life.
Going away from my life in the past, and the future, I met up with Janet last night. It was only the second time in about 2 months we've met after a very long time apart. Janet is a star, a former volunteer at Barnardo's with me, and to be honest she was every bit as capable of doing the job of Assistant Playleader as I was, in fact she'd have made a better Playleader. Still that wasn't her career calling. Mind you, we should have spotted her career calling at that point, the amount of beer that we both consumed should have suggested something. Still as we hadn't seen or heard from each other for just over 7 years to hear from her again via,
www.friendsreunited.co.uk
was something of a happy shock. Lot's has happened to me since we'd last spoke so I've had to cram that into the couple of meetings, but Janet being the star she is, has been fine about it.
So it is that I'm free of one hospital, I'm waiting to hear from two others, well three if I'm honest, but the third one won't get in touch I know that, as it's been way too long since they said they'd get back to me and haven't. I do wish they would as that's in Leeds also and an excuse to go over there again would be nice. One of the other two is local and is dealing with the liver situation, whilst the second one is in the city of Leicester. I'm awaiting a date for surgery from them, and hope it's going to be sometime soon. I'm not holding my breath, but hey that's life I guess, it's all about patience. Once these two hospitals are done with me, I'm on my own again, and free of the medical world, in some way. I know that I'll be a regular at the doctor's even if it's just for the regular prescriptions I have, but that's not like being a regular hospital visitor.
A side note here..... I've mentioned two Janet's so far in my blog's. Janet above is English and a very good friend. The other is Janet from Canada, it was her inspiration which got me writing this blog as such. It would be corny to refer to Janet in Canada as J-Lo, I'm sure she's heard that one before so many times. Even worse would be to call her JC, with reference to her nationality. So I think it's going to be something of a read and make a guess as to which one I'm refering to. Of course I can't just go out for a drink with someone in Canada can I??? Anyway, Janet, you may be far away in Canada but have a great Birthday today won't ya, your a great person and don't let anyone say otherwise.
Well the title suggests some sort of journey's end, and that's how I see what went on yesterday. I've been attending a hospital clinic for over 4 years now, probably more like 5 years, but I'm not counting just yet. Anyway, yesterday saw me traverse the country to the city of Leeds. Not one of my favourite towns as it has a tendancy to dislike Manchester/Salford with the type venom that can cause riots and deaths. Enough of that, as I said for the past few years I've made regular visits to this city and more so to the two main hospitals in it, and yesterday I was discharged from one. Now that is something that I sort of expected and was happy to do, but in a way it's a sad day to say goodbye. For all I've said previously about the city of Leeds, I've now got very little excuse to go and visit it, but yet in terms of shopping and things, I've got a soft spot for it. I guess the hospital visits have perhaps clouded my judgement.
By being discharged the end of one part of my life's journey is now complete, and the next journey is just about to start, I've mentioned in the past week about that journey here, and so you know all about it. I described it as closing the gate on what has gone on and though it's not shut 100% locked, it's not likely to be opened up real soon. The past is the past and though for the main I want to forget the past, I've got to embrace it at times and accpet that it is the past no matter how much I want to forget about it. So having climbed Everest, I'm now at the foothills of K2, such is the journey of my life.
Going away from my life in the past, and the future, I met up with Janet last night. It was only the second time in about 2 months we've met after a very long time apart. Janet is a star, a former volunteer at Barnardo's with me, and to be honest she was every bit as capable of doing the job of Assistant Playleader as I was, in fact she'd have made a better Playleader. Still that wasn't her career calling. Mind you, we should have spotted her career calling at that point, the amount of beer that we both consumed should have suggested something. Still as we hadn't seen or heard from each other for just over 7 years to hear from her again via,
www.friendsreunited.co.uk
was something of a happy shock. Lot's has happened to me since we'd last spoke so I've had to cram that into the couple of meetings, but Janet being the star she is, has been fine about it.
So it is that I'm free of one hospital, I'm waiting to hear from two others, well three if I'm honest, but the third one won't get in touch I know that, as it's been way too long since they said they'd get back to me and haven't. I do wish they would as that's in Leeds also and an excuse to go over there again would be nice. One of the other two is local and is dealing with the liver situation, whilst the second one is in the city of Leicester. I'm awaiting a date for surgery from them, and hope it's going to be sometime soon. I'm not holding my breath, but hey that's life I guess, it's all about patience. Once these two hospitals are done with me, I'm on my own again, and free of the medical world, in some way. I know that I'll be a regular at the doctor's even if it's just for the regular prescriptions I have, but that's not like being a regular hospital visitor.
A side note here..... I've mentioned two Janet's so far in my blog's. Janet above is English and a very good friend. The other is Janet from Canada, it was her inspiration which got me writing this blog as such. It would be corny to refer to Janet in Canada as J-Lo, I'm sure she's heard that one before so many times. Even worse would be to call her JC, with reference to her nationality. So I think it's going to be something of a read and make a guess as to which one I'm refering to. Of course I can't just go out for a drink with someone in Canada can I??? Anyway, Janet, you may be far away in Canada but have a great Birthday today won't ya, your a great person and don't let anyone say otherwise.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
On This Day
Today isn't the greatest in the calendar for myself. Two hero's of mine are remembered fondly on this day, for very different reasons. 24th Novemeber 1991 will be remembered as the day Freddie Mercury died, an icon in terms of music for me. I love all music, but Queen transcended styles and genre to produce great music. For them to lose Freddie killed the band and killed the music. I can still recall hearing the words that "Freddie Mercury is dead", it would be 2am GMT and I was lay in bed in my bedroom at my parents house. I knew Aids killed, I was old enough to understand how much of an unknown disease this was. I hoped that they'd find a cure in time for Freddie, but alas it wasn't too be. I still don't know why I woke up at 2am, just as the radio news was to go on air, and as if even spookier I just sat bolt upright, as if I was expecting something bad.
The second reason why today is remembered is, it's my dad's birthday today, and though he isn't with us anymore he's still a hero to me. I know we had our major fallings out, and by all accounts at the end he didn't want anything to do with me, but he was my dad, he was a hero of mine. I miss him lot's and today brings it home to me just how much I miss him. My sister and other family members may not realise just how much I loved him, and how much I miss him. I can sense him occasionally, not often, but at times I know he's around.
So as I remember the hero's it's hard to allow myself much joy. Today is all about my memories of my dad, and the untold joy in the music of Queen.
As for me in general, well things are going to be ok, I know that, but it's just got to take some time to do so. I've got to realise just how much and how far I can go in the immediate future, and how after that I'm going to get things straight. I know that I've got outstanding debts to reclaim soon, but that's not bothering me right now. What is, is how I solve the other problems that I'm faced with on a daily basis. I do need help, and I know it's going to take special help, but who can and who will give that help? I don't know, I really don't know. That though has always been my problem I guess. There is no one local to help me, no one who has stayed around or is within touching distance of helping out.......... That's the price for being shy I guess, or picking the real clever people as friends, in other words those that move out of town.
The second reason why today is remembered is, it's my dad's birthday today, and though he isn't with us anymore he's still a hero to me. I know we had our major fallings out, and by all accounts at the end he didn't want anything to do with me, but he was my dad, he was a hero of mine. I miss him lot's and today brings it home to me just how much I miss him. My sister and other family members may not realise just how much I loved him, and how much I miss him. I can sense him occasionally, not often, but at times I know he's around.
So as I remember the hero's it's hard to allow myself much joy. Today is all about my memories of my dad, and the untold joy in the music of Queen.
As for me in general, well things are going to be ok, I know that, but it's just got to take some time to do so. I've got to realise just how much and how far I can go in the immediate future, and how after that I'm going to get things straight. I know that I've got outstanding debts to reclaim soon, but that's not bothering me right now. What is, is how I solve the other problems that I'm faced with on a daily basis. I do need help, and I know it's going to take special help, but who can and who will give that help? I don't know, I really don't know. That though has always been my problem I guess. There is no one local to help me, no one who has stayed around or is within touching distance of helping out.......... That's the price for being shy I guess, or picking the real clever people as friends, in other words those that move out of town.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Short and Sweet
I've not got a lot of time to put up a post, so no real insight into my mind I guess, though knowing me that will be totally incorrect and I'll come out with something huge now. Isn't that called Murphy's Law or something?? Well it's Monday morning the start of the working week for myself and though this week is a little less hetic as I'm not doing the normal voluntary groups, I'm a little apprehensive. I've got to take a child to respite tonight after school, then tomorrow is a soccer game at Old Trafford. Wednesday I've got no agenda for after school, whilst on Thursday I've got another hospital appointment over in Leeds. Friday I'll be tired and knackered from the night before I guess, so it's going to be running on memory, but I do increasingly look like I'll go up to Lancaster to see some friends for a night or two.
It seems as if the week's planned out, which in a way is good, but in others is bad. When I've got lot's of things planned like this, the week seems to drag on and on. It will be a long week, as I will as soon as the first thing is started I'll be looking at the next thing and waiting for it to happen. It's crazy really, but is it human nature or just me? That's something for me to try and figure out I guess.
I'm feeling well enough not to claim any more time off work this year, that is touch wood unless I get a really nasty bug. I've already got the liver thing to look forward to for next year, which as far as I'm aware is only a day thing. I've also got another hospital stay to come, which will mean a two week period off work. I wish in some way that would be now, as it would give me chance to go to the cinema on the cheap, and in peace and quiet. I don't like going to the movies late on anymore. I'm so used to going during the day and having the near freedom of the cinema. I can't be picky though can I, and I should get along to see the films I want to see, which include the latest Bridget Jones and the Incredibles. The one movie I want to see, which so far hasn't got a British release date is a small movie in the States, called "We Don't Live Here Anymore", it looks really good, and of course it's got some very good looking actors in it, namely Peter Krause. That's enough of my fantasy right now, see I've done it, a little bit of my mind has slipped out.........
This morning's veiw from the window is that of deep fall, the leaves on most of the trees have fallen, the golden hues now prevail on the dark green grass that was once a lush green. The trees are swaying in a cold heavy breeze and the sky once again is blue, though with a few clouds. I can't see it being much longer before we get a good snow flurry. We had a scattering of snow last Thursday, but it didn't stick. Here's to Christmas when it comes in December!!!
It seems as if the week's planned out, which in a way is good, but in others is bad. When I've got lot's of things planned like this, the week seems to drag on and on. It will be a long week, as I will as soon as the first thing is started I'll be looking at the next thing and waiting for it to happen. It's crazy really, but is it human nature or just me? That's something for me to try and figure out I guess.
I'm feeling well enough not to claim any more time off work this year, that is touch wood unless I get a really nasty bug. I've already got the liver thing to look forward to for next year, which as far as I'm aware is only a day thing. I've also got another hospital stay to come, which will mean a two week period off work. I wish in some way that would be now, as it would give me chance to go to the cinema on the cheap, and in peace and quiet. I don't like going to the movies late on anymore. I'm so used to going during the day and having the near freedom of the cinema. I can't be picky though can I, and I should get along to see the films I want to see, which include the latest Bridget Jones and the Incredibles. The one movie I want to see, which so far hasn't got a British release date is a small movie in the States, called "We Don't Live Here Anymore", it looks really good, and of course it's got some very good looking actors in it, namely Peter Krause. That's enough of my fantasy right now, see I've done it, a little bit of my mind has slipped out.........
This morning's veiw from the window is that of deep fall, the leaves on most of the trees have fallen, the golden hues now prevail on the dark green grass that was once a lush green. The trees are swaying in a cold heavy breeze and the sky once again is blue, though with a few clouds. I can't see it being much longer before we get a good snow flurry. We had a scattering of snow last Thursday, but it didn't stick. Here's to Christmas when it comes in December!!!
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