Back once more

 Hello again,

 

Five years, I had no idea it's been so long.  It's only because being asked to back things up I've looked at this again.  I know I've ignored it, and I know that me ignoring it means that I've been in a decent place and no need to write anything.  However, now is the time once again to write.  

 

The slippery slope down has begun once again, of my own making and I'm in control (well I think I am) of the decent.  I'm wanting to try and push past the contented plateau that I've been in for some time.  Life is OK, nothing more and nothing less.  I want it to be so much more, but with so many factors against it right now it's difficult to push through.  I may not have written this in here, though I may have in previous posts and yeah I could check, but I'll be a bit lazy if you can excuse me, but everything is designed to try and make you happy, so why do we have to be happy?  

 

I have to change something, I'm trying to change my job, but that's almost impossible to do right now and that sucks.  I've had enough of where I'm at, no future development that would progress my career, when I do think of this I'm told there is no point, but threaten to leave and all I get told is progress do this, the same thing 18 months ago I was told wasn't needed.  Simply put, I'm holding ladders for others, the butt of jokes and the shit some one has stood in.  I've been here to often to not see that, and more often than not I fight through it and then that shit explodes.  I'm trying to avoid that this time, but moving to do something else now is harder than ever before and I don't what I want to do and know that I probably won't be happy with it.  

 

Yeah, things aren't great, but they are far from awful, but I'm forcing myself to feel that way in the hope I bounce back and beyond the point I've been in to give me some strength and motivation to do more to further myself.